The Smile of A Heartbreaker

“I don’t love you……can’t love you. We are very good friends but that is the farthest I am ready to go…..” These were the words going into my ears, but my brain was hearing completely different, “I don’t love you…. never will, Being a friend of your’s is all I can take. You are just not worth more of my time.”

1. I was ready to beg right there, in the middle of the road. But then it happened, she smiled! And everything I had gone through the last two days; all the mental turmoil, the soliloquies, the self-consultations, the fear stabbing at my heart like a blunt knife, the sleeplessness; everything was forgotten in that instant. I was standing getting drenched in the first showers of the season. She was standing beside me looking at something over my shoulder, twirling the umbrella in her hands spraying me with water even more. A lightning flashed, and she instinctively hunched towards me, at that moment, my heart felt like that blunt knife stabbing at it had finally been able to pierce it. And I was introduced to a new emotion…................

Sadness… Profound and Complete! My heart was screaming, telling me to scream till something forced me to stop. I had broken all self-made promises and all self-imposed rules. I wanted to tell her all the unsaid things; her ego, her vanity, her selfishness, her treating me as a friendly stranger, except when she needed help. But all that bubbled from the depths of my screaming despair was, “As you wish…..”
And she turned away, giving me a last look out of the corner of her eye. And I was left to walk back alone, getting even more drenched, finally understanding the need to cry in the rain as my eyes mimicked the dark cloudy sky. Playing and re-playing that last smile in my mind.... The smile of a heartbreaker,,,,.